Rockabilly Viva Las Vegas

VLV Countdown: You Ain't Doin' Viva Right If...

9:16 AMDollie DeVille

Today's post it just for fun. It's very tongue and cheek, so if you are easily offended, you may want to turn back now. Personally, I think its just good 'ol Viva fun, but sometimes I am a bad judge about what offends people.

The idea came from the "You Might Be A Redneck If" joke. I initially wanted to do "You Ain't Been To Viva If", and talk about how people say they went to Viva, but in reality they just stayed at the hotel, didn't get a wristband, went to the car show for only 15 mins, and spent the rest of the time going to clubs at The Palms: Here is your sign: You Only Went to Vegas, You Haven't Been To Viva! That would have been hilarious, but, we decided this way would be a little more kosher. Zack helped me write these, so maybe you can pick put which ones he did, and which ones I did.

You ain't doin' Viva right if...


You don't have a wristband.

You don't have a fully stocked room bar.

You don't pack your own specialized "Hangover kit."

You wake up early enough to actually catch the breakfast hours.

Once Viva has started you still go to the strip.

You are in bed anytime before 3am.

You wear jeans and tee shirts all weekend (guys or gals).

You've never taken a morning hangover bath with a glass of champagne.

You don’t go to the 24hr cafĂ© drunk at 4-5am, multiple times during the weekend.

You don’t get a boot.

You only go Saturday.

You’re not on the dance floor.

You leave without at least one new music purchase.

You barf at any point.

You leave without stories, quotes, and camera full of pictures.

You don’t see a ton of stuff you want to buy at the vendors.

If you don’t make a least one new friend.

If you don’t run into a least one old friend.

You get into a fist fight and get thrown out.

If you leave and still look as good as when you came.

You don’t find at least one informal “jam session.”

If you leave with money (unless you won it gambling).

At some point you DON’T highly consider putting all your spending money on red or black.

You actually put all your money on red or black!  You have music and vintage clothes to buy dummy!

You don’t accidentally call Fuddrucker’s “Ruddfucker’s” in a drunken stupor.

You don’t order $1.00 Pabst at the buffet.

You’re not walking through the ballrooms saying to yourself, “I’d do her and her and…”  Or girl version “I’d do him and him and…”

You don’t take advantage of your free bowling coupon.

You don’t buy at least one person a drink.

You don’t go to at least one room party, or find yourself in anyone else’s room at some point in the weekend.

You don’t go to the Orlean’s Mexican joint happy hour for half-off appetizers and $1 margaritas.

You sleep more then you are awake.

If you don’t have a Mai Tai, Mojito, or other “tiki” drink by the pool.

You don’t take your drink into the bathrooms to take advantage of the in-stall cup holders.

You aren’t carrying around a flask full of “bonus cocktail.”

While at the car show you don’t join in a discussion about how the car show was so much better on the top deck at the Gold Coast.

While filling your plate at the buffet you don’t put gravy over everything.

If you don’t pack at least 5 pairs of shoes.

You actually want to leave when the weekend is over.

When you do leave, you aren’t already anticipating next year.

I hope you had as much fun reading this as we did writing it!

XOXO
Dollie

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14 comments

  1. I don't drink, but no one can say I'm not doing Viva right! I can just remember all the shannanigans!

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  2. I know! I thought of you Kim, you are the only one I know that doesn't drink, so you are the only exception to that rule. I need to add a note that you are an exception. he he he

    XOXO
    Dollie

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  3. Ah I have done many many of thess or not as appropriate, as us in the UK have been doing these weekenders since Tom originally started Hemsby - and even before - we are demon organisers for weekenders!!

    Gotta to say there are even special ones for us foreigners, must think of them and let you know!!

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  4. Oh yeah, some of these things wouldn't work for UK weekenders. ha ha. Some are very specific to Vegas. Like the gambling ones, and taking a bath with champagne. I don't think that you would want to do that at a UK weekender because I hear the bathrooms are pretty bad. he he. I think you need to write us a UK version, that would be great! :)

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  5. yes, Fiona needs to write one for the Rave so I can get some tips!

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  6. Ain't doin' it right if at any point during the weekend you use the word "bro."

    Please just give me one weekend off from horrible socal slang! Aaahhh!

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  7. Cup holders in the bathrooms? Oh my god XD that sounds amazing.

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  8. I have some..
    -you aren't doing Viva right if you don't have to wear band-aides on your feet by saturday night.
    -you don't drink at least three 5 Hour Energy shots.
    -you don't think to yourself 'I would rip that dress off her body if I saw her in a dark alley' at least once.
    -in your drunken stupor, you do highly inapropriate/embarrassing things that you don't remember until the photos get published on Facebook.

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  9. ok I'll have a think of one for the Rave or Riot! And yes the bathroom as AWFUL, you are in and out as quick as you possibly can!

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  10. Holly,

    Yours are great! I do all of those things too, so you better not be caught with me in a dark alley! And, yeah, we swear by 5 hour energy!

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  11. You aren't doing Vegas right if you don't lose 5 pounds over the weekend!

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  12. Lose 5 lbs? ha ha ha. I gain 5 lbs! Its the one weekend I drink the most,and eat terrible restaurant food. With the dancing and all the walking, I break even, but I definitely don't lose! ha ha ha

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  13. This is so great Love this post so true hehehehee :) so fun Great I love the bath and Champange idea hahahaha:) oh and the Hangover kit Very clever!! hehehee
    C xoxox

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  14. Hi Dollie,

    I just found your blog and love this post! Too freakin' hilarious! It was my goal to make it out to Viva this year for the first time... but it's not going to happen due to bad timing. Next year for sure. Your post got me excited and I'm even more anxious to attend next year!

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